I love you.
I’m really not in a good place right now.
I really don’t think anythings going to make me feel better for a long time. The only thing I can hold on to right now is how grateful I am to have been blessed with such good friends. At 4am I had 4 different friends to call asking if I could stay at theirs. Granted one was asleep but Frank stayed on the phone to me to calm me down even though he had work in the morning, Emma offered to pay for my cab to get to her house which is minimum £20 and then Grace said “I’ll be there in 5”, and pulled up outside my house straight away. There have been so many low moments in my life where I’ve felt totally alone, so for last night when all I needed was someone, to actually have options to call was such a good feeling. Grace let me crash out at hers and I walked back in the morning. I am so beyond grateful for that.
I am so sad to the core right now but for the first time in my life I feel strong enough to do what’s right for me, I love myself enough to walk away.
When you are hurt so badly you emotionally switch off. I’m going back to the cold bitch I used to be and I can’t fucking wait to meet her again. It’s been a long time coming and I am without a doubt done. For good. I can’t even cry right now, I don’t feel a damn thing.